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So, what is the big fuss about relationships and issues related to it? Is it love that holds two people together and if so, then have we been able to find out what this means. Well, contemporary glorified love is more attuned with buying gifts, having a social recognition, thinking that you care about each other, sometimes even competing as to who is the superior one in the relationship!! It’s more like being in love with the idea of love rather than love itself. I am suddenly asking all these questions to myself because a very dear person of mine, she is like a friend and a mentor to me, is going through a bad divorce and this came as a real shock to me. I started thinking and had certain thoughts which I’d like to share with you all. Love in its purest and truest form refers to ‘self-love’ and by that I don’t mean a selfish love but knowledge of one’s own self. The big question here is what do I want? What makes me happy and how can I change myself in order to bring about the change that I want in people and things around me? Very often we hear the phrase, “I want to change him or her” or sometimes “My way of thinking is so right”. What we forget is that it is right for me perhaps but might not be so for someone else. Now, loving and knowing oneself is to be in the presence of the knowledge that every individual’s basic nature is that of love, peace, sweetness and harmony. We all have it in us and that our only responsibility here, on this Earth is to spread them like a fragrant flower. Now in doing so, I would be happy and content because then I would be doing exactly what nature intended for me to do. And people around will automatically be attracted to do the same....this applies to any sort of relationship as well. Like Emily Dickinson says:
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one lonely person
Into happiness again
I shall not live in vain.”
Thus if I have respect for myself , love for myself, devoid of that constant self criticism, useless comparison and free from the blame game, then I guess that is what I would call a relationship and that too......a successful one :)
